JOHN FOWLES

The Collector - fragments
 

A strange thought: I would not want this not to have happened. Because if I escape I shall be a completely different and I think better person. Because if I don’t escape, if something dreadful happened, I shall still know that the person I was and would have stayed if this hadn’t happened was not the person I now want to be.
It’s like firing a pot. You have to risk the cracking and the warping.
Caliban’s very quiet. A sort of truce.
I’m going to ask to go up tomorrow. I want to see if he’s actually doing anything.
Today I asked him to bind me and gag me and let me sit at the foot of the cellar steps with the door out open. In the end he agreed. So I could look up and see the sky. A pale grey sky. I saw birds fly across, pigeons, I think. I heard outside sounds. This is the first proper daylight I’ve seen for two months. It lived. It made me cry.
 

Iulia Vieru

John Fowles
 

Un gand ciudat: nu vreau ca asta sa nu se fi intamplat. Pentru ca, daca evadez, voi fi o persoana complet diferita si, cred, mai buna. Pentru ca, daca nu evadez, daca ceva ingrozitor se va intampla, totusi voi sti ca persoana care am fost si care ar fi ramas asa daca asta nu s-ar fi intamplat nu este persoana care vreau sa fiu acum.
Este la fel ca si cu impuscarea unei oale. Trebuie sa risti craparea si deformarea.
Caliban este foarte tacut. Un fel de armistitiu.
Il voi ruga sa ma duca sus maine. Vreau sa vad daca intr-adevar face ceva.
Azi l-am rugat sa ma lege la maini si la gura si sa ma lase sa stau la baza scarilor din pivnita, cu usa deschisa. Intr-un final, a acceptat. Am putut sa ma uit in sus si sa vad cerul. Un cer palid gri. Am vazut pasari zburand, porumbei cred. Am auzit zgomotele de afara. Este prima lumina naturala de zi pe care am vazut-o in doua luni. Era vie. Am plans.